Human Body 2.0

September 10, 2007 ·  

The other day I was playing with Cole and he started moving his face around real cute and funny. Being a long time allergy sufferer, it looked to me like he was trying to scratch an itch on his face. Poor little boy doesn’t know how to move his hands well enough to pinpoint an itch and scratch it. I decided to help so I took his blanket and played peek-a-boo with him but made sure there was plenty of contact with the blanket and his face so hopefully I was able to relieve him of the itch.

Doing this reminded me of something I thought of long ago. Without sounding too sacrilegious, if I was able to re-design some elements of the human body there are a few things I’d change. I try to make them realistic enough to be helpful but not make everyone the same. (For instance, not everyone can have rock hard abs.)

My Suggested Changes

  • I’d have itches be visible. The itches would have a slight glow from beneath like when you put a little flashlight under your finger and can see it from the other side. That way, I could scratch it for Cole without a problem. This would also be great when getting a back scratch or when your arms are full and need someone to get an itch for you.
  • I’d have a zoom built into your eyes. It’d be similar to the zoom on a camera. However, when you zoom in it wouldn’t stay that way. Unless you are purposefully zooming your eyes and holding them there then they would return to normal vision. This would make driving much safer because by default you’d always have your natural vision. The zoom button could be in your earlobe. The zoom would just be handy at concerts, sporting events, hikes, etc.
  • A person would be able to stop and start hair growth. This wouldn’t be intended for people that are losing their hair. You’d only be able to work with the hair that you have. But, if you had a great haircut you’d be able to turn off the hair growth and keep it for a while. Then, when you get sick of it just turn it back on and your hair will grow and normal speed. Maybe the button could be kept in your other earlobe.

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Comments

10 Responses to “Human Body 2.0”

  1. Tara on September 10th, 2007 4:53 pm

    I like the idea about stopping hair growth. It is so frustrating to get the perfect haircut and then it grows so fast you can only enjoy it for a short time. Nice post!

  2. Taylor Oblad on September 10th, 2007 8:21 pm

    I would make the ear lobes into the bladder. Then people would know if you had to pee. Let’s say you are in the car on a roadtrip and you have to go. Oftentimes it is not your car and you might not want to ask to stop. This would eliminate that awkward moment

  3. stacey on September 11th, 2007 12:51 pm

    (side not: Can you do another blg entry on this years t.v. premiers? I have half-heartedly tried to find out when the good shows are going to start, and it is not working and I am pooped.)

  4. Candace on September 11th, 2007 4:41 pm

    I love how your mind works.

  5. Emily on September 11th, 2007 5:35 pm

    I would make mouths sound proof. My favorite cereal is GoLean CRUNCH. People can hear the crunch for miles. If mouths were sound proof, I could enjoy my cereal without trying to chew rock-solid granola softly.

  6. Rachel on September 12th, 2007 7:23 am

    You are so weird.

  7. Oliver on September 12th, 2007 5:34 pm

    On the subject of hair growth, I’ve always wished i could grow my hair faster. Im never satisfied with my hair cuts so I always want to grow it back out as fast as possible.

  8. Jayci on September 13th, 2007 12:26 pm

    Brian! I can’t take credit for these, because you’re the one that wrote them. The first two are something I’ve given a few pennies for thoughts to, but the third one…ORIGINAL! haha - I was commenting on my hair today and how it’s already grown from my hair cut 3 weeks ago. That would be loverly. Also, the zoom and itch thing. You’ve given it much thought… although, the rock hard abs would be nice to have.

  9. Brian on September 13th, 2007 12:39 pm

    @ Taylor, if the bladders were in your ears than it’d be a really painful experience to turn on the zoom in your eyes. When I have a full bladder the last thing I’d want is to squeeze it. Maybe the bladder could be in the same place it is now but there could be a gauge on your face. For instance, your eyebrows could act like a gas guage turning red as you fill up.

    @ Stacey, all of our favorite shows are starting during the 24th to the 28th. I like MeeVee.com to keep up with shows and get alerts on them.

    @ Emily, that’s a great idea. I’d do that solely for when my mom chews corn-nuts.

    @ Rachel, There’s an old saying. It reads, “The pot calling the kettle black.”

    @ Oliver, As if you needed any more hair on your head.

  10. Jamie on September 13th, 2007 5:52 pm

    Rod and I were talking about this concept before we fell asleep last night. Rod came up with some ideas, but I think they will have to wait until Human Body 8.0. :)

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