I’ve formed a theory over the last eight years as I’ve seen struggle in the world, in families, and in personal lives. I call it the “Superior Theory.”
I know that’s a pretentious name. How can I come up with a superior theory when the best Einstein did was a theory of relativity?
To not see me as a self serving theorist, you should know that “Superior” is a pronoun in this case, not an adjective.
My theory is this:
“To avoid poor decisions that lead to difficult circumstances, a person needs a superior they trust enough to correct them.”
We live in a world where the idea of a “superior” has such a negative connotation. It should be noted that a “superior” can be that way in any sense and doesn’t need to be negative only. It could be a boss or a commanding officer. It could be a family member, your mother, or a church leader.
I’ve seen that many poor decisions are made when we no longer answer to anyone.
A person may be in one of the following circumstances:
Candace and I feel mostly capable as parents. We’ve always tried to be there for our kids and I’m confident they know that. But as our kids get older and more capable, we are always encouraging them to do and learn for themselves. Not only is it a good habit to form, but I love watching their creativity come alive. They consider things that I have never anticipated.
So now, when a question is asked, we encourage them to “take time” and figure it out on their own.
It is helpful for little things like, “When does the party start this afternoon?” (After being reminded, they “take time” to look it up on the family calendar themselves.)
Or they might wonder about how to rearrange their room, or what a scripture means, or how to respond to an adult question, or which writing angle to take on a research paper.
I found that when I answer any of these questions, even if I’m encouraging them to learn for themselves, I end up adding opinion or direction. It sort of defeats the purpose.
So we just go with “take time.”
We’ve reached the point that they will ask a question and then, before I can respond, they’ll say “I should take time.”
This reminds me of a quote from Bruce R McConkie, a religious leader, and an accomplished thinker and writer.
“People eternally ask me questions, and they ought to figure them out themselves. I mean, I don’t have any more obligation than they do to know what the answers to these things are and they have the same sources to look to that I do.”
Bruce R McConkie
This is helpful as a leader in church, a boss at work, or as a coach in a sport. Encourage those you lead to “take time” so they improve for the future.
Learning to learn is a very useful skill. We should encourage our kids to grow early and often so they have strong habits for the real world.
Most people would look at the photo above and think it’s beautiful. I agree, but mostly I just think about the watery eyes and the sneezing I would do if I was in that field. I’ve struggled with allergies and hay fever my whole life. My son has the same allergies.
Allergy medicine works for me for a little while, but after some use, it no longer decreases symptoms so I have to find something new. I decided it was time to do something a little more long term: Allergy Shots, also known as immunotherapy.
The idea behind allergy shots is that after a series of increasingly potent injections, your immune system can be desensitized from triggers that cause allergic reactions. It takes many months, and even years, but it can offer some real, long-term relief from Allergies.
Recently, my son and I began the process. As usual, I’ve taken detailed notes so I can refer back to them and remember how the process happened.
When I had my PRK Surgery and Recovery fifteen years ago, I wrote a post about the process. There have been over one million views of that post. It turns out, people like to see real hand experience of medical procedures so they know what to expect and plan for in their own process.
In that light, I thought I’d share some allergy shot highlights here for those considering such a thing. Since this is a long process, I’ll update this post over the next few years so share the long term results. Be sure to subscribe to email updates if you’d like to see additions to the post.
Keep in mind: I am not a medical professional. These are simply my observations:
Recently I passed an interesting mark in my own journal keeping. With 7300 journal entries, I have officially documented twenty years worth of days.
My journal entries actually go back 34 years, beginning in 1988. However, I wasn’t a daily writer the whole time. (I haven’t missed a day in over 8 years so I’m doing better lately.)
Having tried many different ways to journal over the years, I’m still big fan of Day One. I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’ve compiled all other journal formats into Day One. Writing from the pre-digital writing have been scanned, added to a backdated entry, and then also transcribed so it’s easy to search. It’s so nice to have everything in the same place.
As I’ve mentioned before, writing in your journal is a great way to reflect and motivate yourself:
There are only so many days in a row that you can write “woke up, went to school/work, watched netflix, leveled up on doodads of destruction (or whatever game), went to sleep.” When you have a daily reflection on your day, and how you’ve spent your time, you find a desire to do better and to be more.
Who have I served?
Have I spent my day on things most important?
How has my love grown?
Am I any better now than I was last year. Am I a better dad? A better disciple?
Brian Stucki Ward Conference Talk, 2017
And if you ever find yourself ungrateful, reading your past journal entries can be a great reminder of how blessed you’ve been in your life.
We have lived in this house for nearly 8 years and this is our first porch pirate. Exciting morning!
Recently we upgraded all of our house lights to 4000k bulbs. It’s a nice way to brighten up a home. This package contained all of the remaining lights that needed to be upgraded. Bulbs of all random sizes and shapes. This will not be as exciting as he hopes. Maybe he can use the string lights as a belt?
He left his car running the whole time. At current rates, he may lose more on this caper than he gains.
Ironically, this happened at the exact moment that our family was inside having our morning family prayer. A friend suggested that perhaps we stop praying for “someone to see more light in the world.”
I look forward to drone deliveries someday that will drop the package in the backyard.
Joking aside, it’s too bad that people do this sort of thing. The money is one thing, but it also sets back our home projects.
Watching the double drive-by and turn around, it seems to have simply been a crime of circumstance. Perhaps some day he’ll mature and fall into better decisions. In the mean time, I hope that this doesn’t happen to anyone else, especially those already in difficult life circumstances.
Now that the kids are traveling on their own more, I’ve put together some travel charger packs for them to grab. It’s a lot easier than unwrapping the cables from the charging stations. (Note: our charging station is in a public part of the house. Remember, kids shouldn’t have their phones in their room overnight. When it comes to good sleep, help them help themselves.)
We made these packs because they are easy to grab and put into a travel bag. We also have a rule in the house: “No borrowing from the travel charger packs.” You need to know that they are always ready to use and not missing any parts.
We all have iPhones and an Apple Watch so here is what we did for our packs.
Zipper mesh bags: We purchased the 4x5in pack of five. It’s only $9 for a five pack of them. The zippers are high quality and the small bag fits everything. I also liked that you can see the contents through the bag. It’s an easy way to check everything is in there.
Anker 40W Dual Fast Charger: This charger is way faster than the charger that came from your phone. It has two ports so you can charger your phone and your watch from just one outlet.
Anker 6ft USB C to Lightning cable: This is a solid cable. It will charge your phone, but will also charge your AirPods. When you’re staying in a hotel, it’s nice to have the 6ft cable because you never know how far the outlets will be from the bed.
Apple Watch Magnetic Fast Charger to USB-C Cable: This is the cable from Apple. Be sure to purchase the USB-C one so it’ll work with the charger listed above. It’s long enough to sit on the nightstand even if the outlet is higher or lower in the wall.
This is what the pack looks like when all zipped up.
We made enough for all of us. Everyone is in charge of bringing and returning their own pack.
Here are random things to post that don’t deserve their own post:
Up to Jerusalem
Candace and I went to Israel a couple months ago. It was an incredible experience for the mind and the spirit. I especially enjoyed the Galilee area.
This one actually does deserve it’s own post. Many more thoughts and photos from this trip soon.
A new protein bar
Last Summer, I wrote about a selection of protein bars that we enjoy in our house. Since then, they added a new holiday flavor during the winter. It was so good that they have now brought it back as Creamy Crisp and it’s available all year long. It’s way too delicious to be a protein bar.
Watch your finances
I have now been using CoPilot for over a year. Still highly recommended, especially as everything seems to be increasing in cost and budgets need to be a little tighter. My full review is here.
On hesitating in life
“They lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.”
Do you have an office at church or work? Purchase a box of these wipes from Amazon and hand them out freely. Put some in your travel bag too. Gift a wipe to anyone working on a messy iPad or squinting through dirty glasses. Even better, offer to do the wipedown for them.
A quick clean will make a phone feel new and the person will appreciate it. It’s a simple service that’s easy to do.
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Each week over Sunday dinner, we’ll grab the book and read about a new tip. We’ll hold a fun conversation about why it’s important, reference people who are a good example of this trait, and talk about how we’ll try to focus on it in the coming week.
The next week we’ll look back on how we’ve done and then do it all again.
We have always tried to be parents who teach about important things like safely using tech and organizing finances, but this book has helped us introduce little phrases into our family. For instance, this one was early on:
Now we just say “pitch in” and everyone knows what that means.
Another example that was really helpful as school and sports picked up and friends helped us get kids to different activities:
Although there are 52 different “modern manners” in the book, there are no dates or specific schedules to keep. You can start the book anytime.
I recently returned from a trip to Israel. It is a beautiful country with wonderful people. The time spent there was enlightening and confirming for me and I’ll have plenty more to say about it in the future.
For now, a quick photography tip.
A couple years ago, Apple added the ability to add quick captions to photos. It’s incredibly useful. Sometimes during travel, you take so many photos that they start to blend together. The further you get from your return, the more you forget.
iPhone already adds metadata like time and location, but even then, some more info can be useful. I use “Captions” for this info and I think it would be helpful if more people knew about it.
A quick tutorial:
This tower looks like a hundred other towers in the Old City. As I clean up travel photos, I could easily toss it out. However, if you look closer, you can see the four architectural styles of the ancient builders. Quickly adding that to the Caption space is the perfect place to note that.
Choose any photo from your Camera Roll. Once selected, you can swipe up or hit the little blue information icon.
Just below the photo, you’ll see an empty space that reads “Add a Caption”
Type in your caption and then swipe back down. All done.
As far as I can tell, there are no character limits. These captions are searchable and will sync to all your devices.
Here are random things to post that don’t deserve their own post:
A Certain Number Revisited
A year ago today, I mentioned that “I plan to increase the public writing” on this blog during 2021. I ended up with 24 posts or about two per month. That’s an improvement over 2020 and I plan to keep a somewhat steady pace.
I wish more people would write and post their words on a site they control. (Not just on social media which ends up being temporary and then fades away.)
In fact, everyone in our family has dramatically increased in their reading. We decided to get an individual kindle for each person in the family and that has helped so much. It takes some financial investment, but the reward can be dramatic. It is much easier to stay focused and read on a Kindle. An iPad or iPhone has constant interruptions.
Speaking of reading, I’ve learned a lot from these regular pandemic overviews from Katelyn Jetelina. She takes the recent pandemic info and explains it well, shares how she applies it in her work and home, and makes suggestions for your own decisions.
Just say no to Cake Pops
Speaking of global nightmares, Cake Pops are the worst. I understand that they can look pretty in a picture or a dessert spread, but I just can’t eat them. All I can think of are hands squishing the cake after it has been baked. (As opposed to cookies that are sanely touched before baking.)
It’s taking the best part of cake (the airy texture) and removing it. It doesn’t make any sense.
A goal for next year
Speaking of too much desserts and sugar, I did a lot of walking this year. However, as we came into the last few days of the year, I was just short of reaching five million steps for the year. Sooooo close.
As I look past over the year, I realized that Sundays were the numbers killer. Every week looks like the screenshot above. It truly is a day of rest. It’s a good thing the Sabbath can also be a delight.
Next year, I’m definitely hitting five million steps.